PART ONE: SHUT UP, ALREADY

I have to be honest. There are a lot of folks out there who don’t really understand what movies are all about, or the best way to watch them. Since I have a blog, I thought I’d rant and rave about it. The first target in my sights is Mr. Talky McTalkster. You know who you are. And you’ve got a phone you like to talk on too, right? What are you, a heart surgeon? You can’t be unreachable for 90 minutes? But I digress from the larger issue…

Audiences have lost respect for their entertainment, and the decorum of simply being an audience. Way back when live theater was the main attraction, there was strict etiquette to respect the live performers on stage. People could only enter and exit at certain times, they stayed seated until the final curtain, and never talked above a whisper, if at all. After the age of television, we all got used to talking back to our entertainment in the privacy of our own homes. We could even cut the show off midway, change channels, or wander into the kitchen. Unfortunately, this same mentality seems to have been brought into the movie theater. But guess what? I’m sitting in there too. And me no likey.

Remember: A movie theater is not your living room. If you want to talk about everything you see, wait for the home rental. And I swear by Zeus’ beard, if you people with the “Mexican Hat Dance” for a ring tone don’t stop answering your phone in the middle of a movie, I will start throwing shoes at you. Look around you at all the people who paid ten dollars. You’re being selfish when you do that.

If you know what I’m talking about and you’ve ever been bugged by talkative people near you, it’s okay to shush them! The rest of the audience will probably thank you. Rise up, oh shushers! We shall overcome.

You may think I say these things because I am a filmmaker, but I am also a lover of film. And with a little courtesy towards others in the theater, I hope other people can learn to love the movies half as much as I do.

(Photo by ANDREA AKINS)