How To Watch Movies (Pt.1)
PART ONE: SHUT UP, ALREADY
I have to be honest. There are a lot of folks out there who don’t really understand what movies are all about, or the best way to watch them. Since I have a blog, I thought I’d rant and rave about it. The first target in my sights is Mr. Talky McTalkster. You know who you are. And you’ve got a phone you like to talk on too, right? What are you, a heart surgeon? You can’t be unreachable for 90 minutes? But I digress from the larger issue…
Audiences have lost respect for their entertainment, and the decorum of simply being an audience. Way back when live theater was the main attraction, there was strict etiquette to respect the live performers on stage. People could only enter and exit at certain times, they stayed seated until the final curtain, and never talked above a whisper, if at all. After the age of television, we all got used to talking back to our entertainment in the privacy of our own homes. We could even cut the show off midway, change channels, or wander into the kitchen. Unfortunately, this same mentality seems to have been brought into the movie theater. But guess what? I’m sitting in there too. And me no likey.
Remember: A movie theater is not your living room. If you want to talk about everything you see, wait for the home rental. And I swear by Zeus’ beard, if you people with the “Mexican Hat Dance” for a ring tone don’t stop answering your phone in the middle of a movie, I will start throwing shoes at you. Look around you at all the people who paid ten dollars. You’re being selfish when you do that.
If you know what I’m talking about and you’ve ever been bugged by talkative people near you, it’s okay to shush them! The rest of the audience will probably thank you. Rise up, oh shushers! We shall overcome.
You may think I say these things because I am a filmmaker, but I am also a lover of film. And with a little courtesy towards others in the theater, I hope other people can learn to love the movies half as much as I do.
(Photo by ANDREA AKINS)
April 20th, 2006 at 12:17 pm
Cory,
I think that poor entertainment etiquette might even have it’s roots further back than television. Some people say the variety of performances involved in vaudeville show was the beginnings of developing and placating a weak attention span for audiences. With vaudeville shows, in order to keep the crowd happy, acts seldom went over 10 to 15 minutes.
One very interesting fact is that the worst acts were scheduled at the beginning and end of the show.
According to some info I found on this website…
http://www.musicals101.com/vaude2.htm
“The “Opening” was a “silent act” that would not be ruined by the bustle of an audience settling in. Acrobats or animal acts were ideal. For any other kind of act, getting booked in this spot was the ultimate insult. The “closing” spot was reserved for short films — or annoying acts that might encourage patrons to leave before the next show. A clunky one-man band or a grating singer were typical closers.”
I believe there is a very obvious connection between the openings and closings of vaudeville shows and the way current cinema is viewed today. The trailers at the opening are kind of like that bad animal act and the beginning of the vaudeville show. The boring end-credit scroll is kind of like that “clunky one-man band.” Just because these acts (end-credits) are not quite as exciting as the main attraction doesn’t mean they deserve less respect. Sometimes when I’m sitting alone watching those end credits slowly scroll up I will focus on one name. I feel pity for that name that no one reads; all the hard work that is represented by that white typeface. And I shed a lone tear. I picture someday in heaven that best-boy grip will meet up with the guy who put years of work into his “clunky one-man band” and say, “hey, you need any help moving your equipment around?”
April 25th, 2006 at 7:11 pm
Brillant. Love your comment. May people read your credit and cry for it as well.